Avoiding the Masses

Avoiding People - Tip 5 - Dark Clouds

2009-04-30T02:48:00.000-07:00

There are times, not many, when you simply must go out and be where there are people. These place are events in themselves and don't cater to those who cannot be bothered to make the trip. In order to minimize the multitudes, there is one simple rule: Go when others won't.

A Farmer's market is a perfect example. By their nature they are bustling, crowd oriented events. If they weren't, the farmers probably wouldn't show up more than once, preferring to go broke in the privacy of their own homes instead of out alongside their failing brethren. As such, trying to find a time when the hoards are at bay can be tough, but fear not, there is a time: When it rains. Farmers are a hearty bunch and they'll usually just break out the parkas and literally weather the storm. Yuppies who drove their Lexus hybrid SUV's over to get some sweet corn aren't so steadfast. One drop of rain on the silk shawl and it's back in the car and off to Whole (paycheck) Foods. That, my friends, is where you and I can get in and get ours with almost no interaction whatsoever. Just come up, point to a couple of things from beneath a giant, hooded parka or plastic bag and then hand some money across the table. Cash is a must and small bills and change really grease the wheels of the sale. Because of the rain, few are interested in staying out for long and chatting and some will even sell things on sale because they weren't planning on driving home with all of the stock. Kettle Corn is great like that because once they've filled the bags, it's too much to put back in the car.

Another great time to go out is when someone has just announced a winter storm warning. In order to really pull this off, you need a decent car with some snow tires and some ability to drive in the snow. If you have all these things, you'll be the only one showing up for a movie (those places never close) or into a restaurant that desperately wants to close down early. The restaurant will serve you extra fast to get you out the door and the movies are sure to be empty if you pick something that's been out for a while or got bad reviews.

If you have a phone that will show you the weather and traffic, you're set. You just head to your destination with the knowledge that soon everyone will be driving toward home while you're driving toward a quiet night out with few if any interruptions.

Avoiding People - Tip 4 - Ring Shopping

2009-04-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

I don't wear a lot of jewelry, but there are times when I see a ring that I've just got to have. Ring sizing is typically a lot more reliable than shoe sizing (Size 7 Mephistos are NOT the same size as Size 7 Nikes), but sometimes our fingers...um...grow, so it's important to have a good idea of what size I need to buy for before I buy. But how do I do this without actually going into the store to get measured?

Enter...The Internet! Since I'm doing most of my shopping at places like Outblush, I needed to find a way to measure my ringsize at home. TRULY dedicated ring buyers can go to Amazon and check out their ring sizer there. For those of us a little less compulsive, there's the printable paper sizer. There are a couple of different varieties but both require scissors or an Xacto knife. The one found here is one you cut out, then wrap around your finger. The other kind is a little more complicated to cut out, but easier to use once you do. Either way, in only a few minutes, you can have your own resizer and never wonder again if a ring you buy online is going to fit when it arrives.

Great Ring Shopping - minus the rings salesman and other shoppers! Who could ask for anything more?

Avoiding People - Tip 3 - Amazon Fresh

2009-04-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

You always hear about walking into the frozen foods aisle, looking up and making eye contact with the man of your dreams. If this really happened, they'd set up speed dating posts on pallets and sell roses in every aisle. Instead, unless you go at 3 in the morning (THANK YOU 24 hour Safeway), you're almost certainly going to come into contact with more than enough people to drive you out of the store before you can even get to the checkout counter.

And the checkout counter. Is there anyplace else you're boxed in more by people on all sides with no means of escape?

Luckily Amazon has the cure in Amazon Fresh.

Amazon Fresh is an online grocery that will deliver groceries directly to your door after you pay and order online. With a minimum of interaction (they drop containers at your door and pick them up the next time). The selection is excellent and they produce is always fresh and usually scuff free.

Very recommended :)

Avoiding People - Tip 2 - NetFlix + XBox = Movie Bliss

2009-04-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

I don't play a lot (read *1* in the past 15 years) of video games, but the XBox 360 has been the greatest purchase I've made this year. In combination with netflix and an internet connection, I don't even have to go to my mailbox for movie rentals anymore and going to a store to rent videos (no more late night trips to Blockbuster and waiting outside until everyone is gone, ever again).

Netflix has signed some kind of agreement with XBox Live (a yearly subscription is something like $50, but I got it through my writing partner at Microsoft for $30) and with those two, you can stream HD video on demand to your XBox over the internet. The sound and picture quality are amazing and will impress anyone. The selection for instand download is pretty impressive (though is missing some of the big titles).

All you do is go to the netflix website, login, search for videos, and if they have a little blue "play instantly" sign, you can click the little dropdown "add to instant" button. In about 20 seconds, the title shows up in your XBox Netflix queue and you can watch it, in HD on your TV.

An interesting side effect of this is that I am seeing a lot of indy movies I never would have seen or noticed as I avoided people in a store. Also, going to my mailbox is enough of a disincentive for me (I go about once a week at four in the morning as to not bump into any neighbors who'd want to talk). Since I can see them all within a few seconds of making my selections, I don't feel the sense of self-editing that I normally would if I was trying to choose something that I'd have to wait for in the mail either.

It has a great pause feature in case I want to go back and finish a movie later, and remembers your place even if you leave it for a few days or turn it off.

I love it. You will too. Netflix costs about 8.99 a month and XBox live is $50 a year...well worth it in my estimation.

Like this tip? Buy my book - Yellow and Green - A story of a Chinese American Agoraphobic woman and her life with family, love, sex, friendship and food. Coming Soon to Amazon.com

Avoiding People - Tip 1 - Always bring a coat.

2009-04-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

When going out to eat by yourself and if you're lucky enough to find an empty restaurant, there's always a chance that:

someone will show up after you've ordered and decide they want some company and attempt to buy you a drink or
the waiter will come over and sit down, attempting to keep you company in their boredom.

In these cases, I find that simply placing your coat on the chair across from you is typically enough disincentive for most people. It says to the drink buyer - "uh oh, looks like she's with someone" and to the waiter "better not flirt with her, if she's meeting a guy and he's buying, he won't leave a tip."

If they come by halfway through dinner and look sad, asking if you've been stood up, just say no and look embarrassed. If they persist, take out your cell phone and make a call.

Like this tip? Buy my book - Yellow and Green - A story of a Chinese American Agoraphobic woman and her life with family, love, sex, friendship and food. Coming Soon to Amazon.com